Tuesday, November 14, 2006

A Salute to Washington State University

We have finally reached the end of the football season and all that is left is our annual rivarly game with our poor cousins from East of the mountains, the Washington State Cougars. Both teams have hit a few bumps in the road the last couple of weeks, but as sual it will be a great game for at least one of the teams. I have collected a number of my favorite Cougar jokes from various sites to share with you guys.

I think legendary UW Head Coach Don James said it best:
"I've always felt that being a Cougar prepares you for life. You learn not to expect too much."

Why is a tornado and a Cougar divorce similiar?
You know someone is going to lose a house trailer!

What does a Cougar say to a Husky at MacDonald's?
"Do you want to Supersize that?"

A WSU student walked into a bar in Seattle and ordered two beers. After he paid for the beers he drank one and poured the other one all over his right hand. The bartender was curious to what he was doing so he asked him, and the WSU student replied "I'm trying to get my date drunk."

One day at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter was greeting new comers. The first man was a brilliant engineer from Boston College, so he and St. Peter talked about the great structures and buildings of the world. Next was a mathmatician from Harvard, so they talked about the most complex mathmatical problems in the history of civilization. The third guy had an IQ of 78 and a six pack in his right hand and St. Peter says, "How 'bout them Cougs!"

What's crimson & gray and goes 100 mph?
A Cougar in a blender.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Pullman?
God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

How do you make a WSU graduate leave your house?
Pay him for the pizza.

What's black and blue and goes tha-dump, tha-dump, tha-dump?
A Cougar in a dryer.

Why don't they raise chickens in Pullman?
They plant the eggs too deep.

How do you keep a Cougar out of your front yard?
Put up some goalposts.

Why do WSU graduates put their diploma on the car dashboard?
So they can park in the handicap spots.

Why did WSU decide to put Fieldturf in Martin Stadium?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

What do you get when you breed a WSU Cougar and a Groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football.

What does a WSU woman tell her lover when she's done with sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

4 comments:

Michael Wines said...

Funny stuff John. If you don't mind I would like to use these next week for the Civil War (of course I would change references to the Cougs to the Beavs).

hairofthedawg said...

This isn't about the Coogs or Beavs but if you changed the names....still pretty damn funny

http://jmamhocker.tripod.com/big_12.htm

Dave Dubbs said...

John,

Just stopped by...my pops and dawg told me your site was a good read, and they were right. Lots of good info, and I love the Coug jokes. I think it would add to your site if you trashed the Beavs a little more...but I'm a Duck, so don't listen to me.

Dave

Health Insurance Expert said...

Dave- thanks for the nice comment. I threw som digs at the Beavers earlier this season, but since they beat us it took some of the steam out of it.

Thanks for the link Hair, pretty funny stuff!